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Breathing Room (2008)
IMDB rating: 4.40
Plot: Thrown naked into a desolate room with thirteen strangers, Tonya (Ailsa Marshall) discovers that she is the final contestant in a deadly game. Restrained by lethal electronic collars, the players must utilize hints and tools from a box marked “pieces” to find both an exit and the reason for their abduction. One by one the players are eliminated as their “curfew” begins and the lights go out. With each dead body comes another clue, which they use to discover that one of them is the killer. The question is … which one?
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Directors: Cowan Gabriel
Actors: McLafferty Michael,Higlen David,Culver Brad,Estes Kim,Foster Keith,Atik Jeff,Cembrinski Steve,Gerlach Bryce,Drama,Horror,Thriller,
is this a good story?
His name was zack. He was 14. He was a nice kid. He couldn’t kill a spider. And it was true. He used to make someone take them outside. No one ever judged him. No one ever asked about his sexuality. Even if he did wear skinny jeans and tight shirts. No one ever considered it a possibility.
He walked to school like any other day. But today was different. He was nervous. He walked down the hall with a red rose in his right hand holding it behind him. Everyone stared. It was the day before valentines day. They wanted to know who it was he liked. He never told anyone. And no one asked. he walked towered a group of people looking in there lockers. Everyone asked them selfs witch one of the girls he liked.
"Jake, would you be my valentine" zack said lifting his hand with the rose. Everyone was quiet no one had expected it. They were in shock no sounds all you could hear was peoples breathing.
"HELL no zack what the ****" jake said pushing zacks hand away. Zack looked down to the floor. "I’m not a ******* ***** like you"
Zack looked up with tears in his eyes. He turned around and ran outside of school and left home. When he got home he went to his room. No one was home yet. Later he did not eat. His family did not bother him. They left him alone. Even if they did know he had been crying. They did not know of what he had done. He did not fall asleep until 3am. He woke up at 5am. After he had a nightmare of him being tortured and killed for his sexuality. After an hour of crying on his bed he did not have tears left Because of his cry the hole day before. He took a shower and ate normally. Like nothing had happened. He left to school and when he got there everyone stared at him. Some were also laughing. He did not care. He was a strong kid. He could probably beat all of them up. But he was to good of a kid to do that. He got to his locker. There were lots of kids around it laughing. He took a step to see what was going on. His locker was covered with wrighting. A big red ***** written over it and a bunch of other smaller ones.
"Who did this" even if he knew exactly who did. Tears running down his now red cheeks.
"EVERYONE BACKOFF" a guy screamed and made his way towers zack "is it true" with a worried face. Zack just nodded. "Why didn’t you tell me".
"I was afraid you would hate me" zack said with a low voice. "I don’t want you to hate me, I’m sorry".
"I don’t hate you" the boy hugged zack. "Its okay and I want you to tell me everything about this later" he turned around and said "now , who the **** did this" for a moment there was silence.
"I did" the boy turned around to see jake who was holding a gun right at zacks head. "And by the way I would like to be your valentine Zack" jake pulled the trigger of the gun and a tear went down zacks cheek he looked at the boy and blood started rushing down his head he fell to the floor blood every were he was shaking. That is when jake tried to run.
The boy tried to catch jake but he ran as fast as he could. And a bunch of teachers, who by the way were to late now, holed the guy. Not wanting him to injure jake so he would not get in trouble to. And other teachers and now the police followed jake. But they couldn’t catch up to him.
And I was the guy. And zack was my little brother. I never did find out anything about my little brothers sexuality even though I did ask zack to tell me everything. Later that day jake killed himself. The police said he didn’t want to go to jail. But I guess he just wanted to go to some other place where he couldn’t be hatted. With a little someone I know.
Happy valentines little bro. Wherever you are.
thats it!!!!!
was it good
look at my blog i will be posting more things
i will post that now
zereptv.tumblr.com
no its not true for the one who asked i asked this before and they asked that to no this story is not true it just came to me
okay…i thought this would be a terrible story, but the plot is alright. it is a short story, right?
you do have grammatical error and such, but you can edit it later.
your writing style is actually quite intriguing. you write in short, choppy sentences that end abruptly which initially surprised me, but as i kept reading, i became used to it. while most people probably would scoff and say it seems childish, i think its interesting. it’s a different way of writing that caught my attention. most sentences are long and very elaborate. yours get to the point, in a shocking, quiet way. i like it.
this writing style reminds me very much of ernest hemingway who while obviously more advanced, wrote in short sentences that ended abruptly. he’s very well known for that.
keep on the great work. 
i actually really do like your writing style. it’s different, which makes it special.
Jessica S | Feb 06, 2010
I did like the story.
It’s very interesting, and a nice plot.
Just make sure to edit it, and get rid of few unnecessary things you have in there.
Keep up the good work.
Good luck.
Irina | Feb 06, 2010
Is that all true? I’m not judging about your bro, but is it. It would make a great story.
King | Feb 06, 2010
Er … no. Okay, first off, your grammar is horrible. I’m sorry! Practice makes perfect, and you can always get help. But that’s a turnoff. Secondly, no one wants a story that has swearing in the first couple pages, let alone the fourth paragraph! You’re prolly all, "I have *****s!" That’s just as bad. And, lastly, I’m not a fan of your plot.
But keep writing, and you’ll get better!
never-ending nights with you | Feb 06, 2010
Bad writing, dull style, weak story, exaggerated and over-dramatic story exposition to the point it is not believable anymore as well as grammatical errors and sentences that don’t make sense. It’s also too short even for a short story, although all this is for the higher standards. How old are you and how much writing experience do you have?
Michael L | Feb 06, 2010
ummm… wow. it was good i guess but it’s young adult and i am obviously not a young adult. other than that okay. the story is a little creepy though you know the gun and the Happy valentines little bro. Wherever you are. not realy my type but other than that good ummm
Mireya | Feb 06, 2010
Is this even a true story?
Chisuki 8D<3 | Feb 06, 2010
